Christmas Photo Cards

We've started to get family picture cards in the mail.

The question for us this year was, where do we put them? In years past, we would get the photo cards and magnet them to the refrigerator. This year, however, no fridge. Kim solved it for us by taking some cuttings from Karen's Christmas tree and hanging them from our walls. She strung up some ribbon to the cuttings and clipped pictures to the ribbon and the branches using our wooden clothespins. I really like it, it actually looks better than sticking them up on the fridge.

We get a whole variety of different photos coming to us. Some families choose to get a definite posed shot on the card. The children may be wearing some kind of matching aloha print wear and smiling for the camera. On the day of the shoot, it may have been a little bit of an effort to make sure everyone's hair was combed properly, no food smudges on the clothes, everyone was in a good mood, and at that moment the shutter clicks--all eyes were opened. It's a lot to juggle in capturing that one moment you want to share with your family and friends.

One of our dear friends sent us a card with some incredibly beautiful photos of her and her son. When I complimented her on the shots, she let me in on a little bit of the back story of the photo shoot. She hired a professional to do the photos and was excited about creating something wonderful. The weather was spectacular and everything was set--except her three year old son was in a foul mood. With deft skills and a little bit of M&Ms she was able to get him to be a stellar model. It's amazing how a little bit of extra sweetness can help you get things done.

Some families choose a montage of different photos taken throughout the year for their cards. They scour through their digital cameras or their photo files looking for the perfect moments to place on the cards. This year, for our photo card, we decided to pose for a shot as well as add photos from the year. Finding the photos from the year was easy. The pose was a different story. We decided to sit in front of Karen's tree and all wear blue. The tree was lit up, hair and make up set, beard trimmed and combed, doggie hat placed on Butch, three year old dressed and wiped, and Karen instructed on how to use our camera.
"Okay, Bodhi come sit on Daddy's lap."
"No Daddy, I want to sit over here by myself."
Karen: "If he sits there he won't be in the frame."
"Cmon Bodhi."
"I don't want to take pictures."
I pick up Bodhi and place him on my lap and a small but tiresome tantrum ensues.
"Do you need to sit by yourself in the room for a bit?"
"No! No!--I don't need to go the room!"--Tears starting to stream down his cheeks.
Okay, take two-- Tears are wiped, smiles are propped up on our faces, I shake off the tantrum and send out as much love energy as I can muster because I believe that it translates in the photo, and click, click click several shots are taken.

Bodhi was never fully settled during the shoot. We actually have several shots of Kim and I sitting at the tree with Butch, Bodhi's legs in a dash in front of us darting out of the frame. I joked with Kim that we should have put that photo on our cards this year.

We always try to share our best with our friends and family. We try to choose photos that capture the essence of the love we feel for each other and those we are sharing the images with. The tantrums, the fights between siblings, and the dark moments of fear, anger and stress never make the final cut even though they too have made up part of the time that has passed during the year. We all want to shine, and so we should, for that is our true essence. But we also must take the time to reflect on all the moments that have gone by. Even the dark moments, if viewed properly, provide fertile soil for growth. I am reminded of the Buddhist teaching, that the deeper the mud the more glorious the lotus blossom. And vinters know that distressed vines produce some of the most interesting and wonderful grapes. Of course, we don't want to live in the mire, just learn the lesson and move on.

Jonathan Larson, in his Tony Award winning musical "Rent", reminds us that 525,600 minutes make up a year. He asks, "How do you measure the year in a life?" As the year comes to a close and we get these wonderful picture cards from loved ones, it's a good time for us think about our back stories and reflect on the moments that made up the year. What have we learned? Were we courageous in the face of fear? Did we experience as much joy as we could have? Have we forgiven ourselves for any missteps? Have we been as loving as we possibly could?

Let's measure 2009 in love.

Happy Holidays Everyone!

The Lights

The weather is getting colder here on the Big Island.

It's been in the upper 50s at night and in the mid 70s during the day. The mosquitos can't seem to manage the colder air and have left us alone for the past few weeks. The coqui frogs have gone quiet in the evenings as well. I guess the winter air doesn't foster their amorous desires to mate. The night skies have been clear and quiet, it's been wonderful to see the blanket of stars, unhindered by city lights, sparkling overhead.

I think I thrive better in cold weather. My thinking is clearer and my vision seems brighter. Those of you living in more temperate climates may be laughing at me and saying the upper 50s is downright balmy. But in the tropics anything below 65 is freezing. When we lived in Japan, I loved the way everything quieted down in the winter. The summers in Japan were a cacophony of cicadas in the trees during the day and frogs in the rice paddies at night. But as Autumn rolled around things would get quieter and quieter until winter's silence would cover everything. I also really loved walking home at night when I was a student in Denmark. The snow would crunch under my feet and the smell of wood fires burning in homes would embrace me as I made my way to my homestay.

The days are shorter, but the Christmas lights up around town make the evenings bright. Since our electricity is coming off of a 12 volt battery charged by our solar panels, we are not putting up lights on a tree or around the cabin. It really helps us appreciate the lights we do see all around.

Kim made us a wreath this year. It's a gorgeous piece made with native plants that we gathered with Karen on the slopes of Mauna Kea. It was beautiful on the day that we picked the material for the wreath. The air was crisp and clear as Karen began to oli us into the forest. As she chanted us in, I closed my eyes, my whole body seemed to buzz with energy and I got this strong sense of being at one with everything around me. As she came to the end of her oli, Spirit spoke to me and let me know that if I do things purposefully everything would work itself out. It was very profound. We spent about four hours in the forest gathering Liko Lehua, Uki, and Laiko. And now Kim's masterpiece is up and on display at the cabin to remind us of this wondrous season.

This past Saturday evening we went up to the Volcano Art Center in Volcano Village for a Christmas event. Volcano Village is at about 3500 ft. elevation. Whereas, Kurtistown is at about 1200 ft. elevation. So it gets a lot colder in Volcano Village. The event gave us the feel of having a "real" Christmas. To clarify, growing up in Hawai‘i, we are filled with images of a white Christmas with Santa coming down the chimney. But most Hawai‘i kids don't have first hand experience of dashing through the snow or walking through a winter wonderland. But this year at Volcano Village, as we stepped out of our car, seeing our breath plume out in front of us as we exhaled, we saw people all bundled up in jackets, some actually wearing scarves, people sipping hot apple cider and little ones standing around the yule log roasting marshmallows. What we needed to overlook, however, was looking down. Despite all of the bundling up on top, most people, even in Volcano Village, were wearing rubber flip flop slippers. It was a reality check that we were, of course, still in our tropical paradise.

While driving around the Village, Kim saw a sign posted in front of a house, "Wait 5 seconds." We thought this was a very good message. On one level it tells about the weather patterns here on Hawai‘i Island. If it's raining, just wait five seconds and the sun will show itself again and then it'll rain again. Nothing is permanent. On another level the message speaks of the benefit of action versus reaction. Most people are reactive rather than being purposefully active. The general tendency in human behavior is to be reactive to the world around us. Someone may cut us off on the highway and in a knee jerk reaction, the finger comes flying out the window. Our child may throw a tantrum and without a pause, we yell. The economy tanks and we run for cover. One of the beautiful things about meditation is that it trains your mind to be less reactive. As you sit in meditation, knees may start to ache or a fly may be buzzing around your head. The reactive thing to do would be change your position or to swat at the fly. But in meditation you are taught to just observe the phenomena without judgement and know that it will pass, that nothing is permanent. In essence, you are giving yourself that "five seconds" to experience life in a different way. It is an incredibly valuable skill to be able to take that five seconds in any situation, to breathe, then see the world from a different perspective and then act from a more meaningful place.

We ended our evening at Volcano Village caroling around to the different businesses in the area with a group from the Volcano Art Center. It was so much fun. The Holiday Season is upon us and it is so easy to get caught up in the rush of the days. Yesterday, Bodhi had an Advent Program at his school and it really helped us gain a better perspective on the season. The children all participated in walking around the Advent Spiral and placing candles in the circle. It was symbolic of our need to find our inner light during this season of darkness and shine it out to others.

The writer Robert Fulghum tells a story of a time he went to a Peace Conference that illustrates this point. A Greek philosopher and teacher ended a lecture asking, “Are there any questions?” In the audience was Robert Fulghum who asked, “Dr. Papaderos, what is the meaning of life?”

Fulghum relates: “The usual laughter followed, and people started to go. Papaderos held up his hand and stilled the room and looked at me for a long time, asking with his eyes if I was serious and seeing from my eyes that I was. ‘I will answer your question,’ he said. Then taking his wallet out of his hip pocket, he fished into it and brought out a very small, round mirror, about the size of a quarter. Then he said, ‘When I was a small child, during the war, we were very poor and we lived in a remote village. One day, on the road, I found several broken pieces of a mirror from a wrecked German motorcycle. I tried to find all the pieces and put them together, but it was not possible, so I kept only the largest piece. This one. And by scratching it on a stone, I made it round. I began to play with it as a toy and became fascinated by the fact that I could reflect light into dark places where the sun would not shine – in deep holes and crevices and dark closets. It became a game for me to get light into the most inaccessible places I could find.

'I kept the little mirror, and as I went about my growing up, I would take it out in idle moments and continue the challenge of the game. As I became a man, I grew to understand that this was not just a child’s game but a metaphor for what I might do with my life. I came to understand that I am not the light or the source of the light. But light – truth, understanding, knowledge – is there, and it will only shine in many dark places if I reflect it.'

‘I am a fragment of a mirror whose whole design and shape I do not know. Nevertheless, with what I have, I can reflect light into the dark places of this world – into the black places in the hearts of men – and change some things in some people. Perhaps others may see and do likewise. This is what I am about. This is the meaning of my life.' “And then he took his small mirror and, holding it carefully, caught the bright rays of daylight streaming through the window and reflected them onto my face and onto my hands folded on the desk."


Wait five seconds,

Appreciate the light,

Reflect the light,

Be the light, that is our only job in this glorious world.