The Destination

Bubbles and a three year old are magical.

A few afternoons ago, Kim, Bodhi and I were out on our lawn area blowing bubbles.  The sun was setting, so the sky had that wonderful feel of oranges, pinks, blues and purples.  The clouds were thin and whispy and streaked with color.  The iridescent bubbles reflected the sky and the cabin as Bodhi ran after them in the tall grass.  It was early enough that the coqui frog hadn't come out yet, but the birds had already started to settle in for the night.  The only sound was our deep resonant wind chime blowing in the gentle breeze and the sound of Bodhi's feet rustling up the grass.  It was a splendid moment.

Kim and I have been having a few grass is greener conversations.  The conclusion Kim has come to is that the grass is greener wherever you water it.  Lucky for us it rains a lot here in Ola‘a.  The weather has been absolutely gorgeous for us.  We've had blue sunny skies that have been clear enough for us to see the tops of Mauna Kea everyday. And as we lay our heads on our pillows we're lulled to sleep with the patter of rain on the corrugated steel roof.  We wake every morning to a full catchement tank and another day of blue, blue skies.  I was telling Kim that I must be vibrating beauty, because I am seeing it all around me.

I've had a case of itchy feet with varying degrees of severity ever since I was a college student.  I went away for a awhile to study at SUNY Stonybrook in New York, and that is where I heard the call to the road.  The next thing I knew, I was on a flight to the UK to study at the University of London for a semester abroad.  A year later I spent a semester studying at the University of Copenhagen in Denmark.  Shortly after college, Kim and I got married and headed off to Japan to teach English.  Coming back to Hawai‘i from Japan for the last 11 years has been the longest time Kim and I have spent in one place.  We feel very committed to this place that we both call our childhood home.  But every once in awhile the road seems to call me with it's seductive pointer finger beckoning me to come out and play.  Maybe it's Portland.  Maybe it's Ashland.  Maybe it's the Bay Area.  Maybe Canada.  Maybe Australia.  Maybe Italy.  Maybe Paris.

For Mark Twain it was the Mississippi River and for Jack Kerouac it was the roadways of America that represented the feeling of unbounded freedom.  They represent the same thing for me.  The ability to get out of my normal routine and out of my sense of self is very appealing.  There is something freeing in the feeling of heading somewhere with the optimistic hope that it's better than here.

Kim and I are funny travelers.  When we go to a new place we tend to find ourselves going to cafes to sit, going to  nice restaurants to eat, or finding quiet places to read.  Basically, we tend to do the same things we do when we are here in Hawai‘i but in a new geographic location.  We are huge fans of the 90s TV series "Northern Exposure".   When the show was on regular TV we would watch it religiously and whenever the opening theme music would come on, we would get naked and dance around crazily in our living room.  By the final season a new doctor and his wife were introduced to the show.  They were the kind of people that every few years would move to a new place.  In one episode, they had the profound realization that whenever things got tough they would, "pack up the china."  That episode was meaningful to Kim and I.  We had, over the years, found that was our trend.  In some circles it's known as "pulling a geographic".  It's the idea that moving to a new place will somehow bring about a better life.  But the truth is, no matter where you move to, you will still be you and whatever luggage you bring along will follow you to the new location.

I think Kim is right in her realization that the grass is greener wherever you water it.  So what do we do about the itchy feet?  A few years ago, while we were on trip here from Honolulu.  We were standing on a bridge looking at this beautiful lagoon in Hilo.  We were talking about what we want in our life.  We came to the conclusion that our lives don't have to be an either/or proposition.  We don't have to choose either Hawai‘i or some other place.  It can be an and/both proposition.  We can live in Hawai‘i and Paris.  We can be both grounded and free.  I know, I know we tend to primarily go to cafes and restaurants when we are in a new place, but isn't it so much cooler to sip cafe at a Parisian cafe than to have a cup of coffee at Starbucks?  

Henry Miller once said, "One's destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things."  We will water the grass here and allow our roots to grow deep with the knowingness that our only destination is to know ourselves.  We can take that knowingness with us wherever we go and enjoy whatever kind of wonderfulness this world has to offer.