Adaptation

There was a moment this morning that I wanted to pour concrete over the entire planet and yell at the top of my lungs, "I hate nature!"  I know it's one of those things that's not proper to say out loud.  It reminded me of when I was doing my ten day silent Vipassana Meditation retreat.  It was only one hour into the first day of meditation when I had the deep desire to stand up in the middle of the meditation hall that was full of ernest meditators and cry out, "OK!  I'm done!  Anybody want to go for some beer and ribs?"

How can you contend with billions of mold spores?  I came back to the land after dropping Bodhi off at school to find Kim looking very frustrated.  When I was out, she was cleaning up things trying to get things in order so we could have a relaxing day.  Today was going to be a day that we could just lounge around, read books and work on the computer.  We haven't had that kind of day in a long time.  Yesterday, we finished the last major project for the cabin, which was to put in the floor for the bathroom.  We were really looking forward to the break.  While she was cleaning up, she discovered mold had carpeted most of Bodhi's wooden toys.  All of these wonderful toys we bought for him had a fuzzy grey covering.  It was disheartening.  We bought these toys in a conscious effort to have more healthy toys for Bodhi and yet in this environment the mold just loves the porous untreated wood.

I wanted to chop down every tree that acts as a hiding place for mold spores or gnats or flies.  I wanted to dump concrete on every puddle that acts as a breeding ground for the mosquitos that attack Bodhi and make him look like he has the pox.  But what we did instead was to put all his infected toys in a plastic container and make plans to clean them up tomorrow.  We decided that the sun was too shiny today and there was other things we wanted to do with our time.

We do realize the mold is still there and it has provided us with the gift of good dialogue.  Kim and I got talking about mold, what it means to us, and why are we having it in our lives.  The talk about mold got us talking about how we feel about being on the land and some of the insecurities we feel about what we are doing.  It was a really good conversation that brought light to our dark places.  All of these situations we are going through are truly getting us clearer on what we want.  I am grateful for them.  It was interesting when Kim was looking up information on clearing mold, it seems that mold thrives in dark places much like how our shhtuff likes to hide out in the dark places of our psyche.  Shine the light in and the mold goes away.  Clear the clutter and the mold won't have a place to hide.  It was quite profound.

Kim had a good point about coming to a new environment.  She said that when we bring all of our old stuff to our new environment, there is going to be a process of seeing what works and what doesn't work in the new place.  If it works, great, keep it.  If it doesn't work, then adapt it to work or get rid of it.  It's a process of adaptation we are going through right now and we are seeing what works and what doesn't work.  We feel pretty confident that we will get Bodhi's toys cleaned up and more resilient to the wet East Hawai‘i weather.

After we packed the toy's into the plastic bins, we needed to recover from feeling like we'd been trounced on by nature.  We went upstairs and sprawled out on our bed.  The room we sleep in has windows all around.  We were surrounded by towering ‘ohia lehua trees and the sun was blazing, drying everything out.  We played the "Glad Game" to raise our spirits.  The "Glad Game" is a great way to raise your vibrations.  It's simply going through a list of what we are glad about at that moment.  We came up with so many things, the sun, the trees, the breeze, a healthy marriage, a happy and intelligent son, and that we live in this beautiful place for free.  I joked that it would be even better to live in a more modern place with maid and nanny services for free.  I know it may seem a little pollyanna to play the game, but if it works whose to dispute it.  While we were lying there, one thing that I was truly glad about was that I was lying next to my wife at 10:30 in the morning on a weekday and enjoying the feeling of being free.

One of the hallmarks of any species in nature is its ability to adapt.  Kim and I are adapting.  We are learning what works, releasing what doesn't and being willing to grow.